Me: I’ve already drop many hints and you still don’t get it.
Jos: Don’t drop hints, just tell me directly.
Does the above seems familiar to many? I believe so, many girls goes through the same with their guy. They just don’t get it. They never understand. Why isn’t he calling me back? Why can’t he be a little more sensitive to my feeling? Why does friends mean more to him then me? And all these questions leads to Frustrations in a relationship and might even lead to a big fight. And we girls being girls, never give up trying. We keep trying to make him understand… by getting angry, by getting grumpy, getting upset and so on.
But ladies, its time you stop trying because man and woman can never be the same. If he is ever like you, you might want to re-consider him as your man because then there is a feminine side of him which can be quite scary, don’t you think? So, don’t try to change your man to be what you want him to be, he will never be and should not be. Naturally, because he is a man and he has to do what a man does.
I’ve had a few relationships before and I’ve learnt and even with my current, I’m still learning. The good news is each day I become better at it. I’m no expert but to survive a relationship, as a woman, we need to know what we do wrong as a woman as well. There is always two side to a coin, you can’t be always right. So here are my collections of tips from everywhere that I’d think its so useful to keep in mind.
Rule No. 1 – Do not try to change your man!
Why do we love a man and not a woman? What would we bother to be with a gender so different from us and suffer the consequences of being different? Well, Bingo! That’s because we want a manly man and not some wimp. That’s clearly the reason why man are made different from woman. The difference can be so vast that requires a lot of working on. But even then, isn’t it interesting and challenging to accept that manliness in your man? So stop getting upset when your boyfriend aren’t doing what you want him to. If he does, that is not manly.
If you should decide a man is not what makes you happy, then I suggest you go for a tomboy to ease the suffering. Because “she” will understand more what is needed from a woman’s point of view and do what you want them to.
Rule No. 2 – Do not depend on him to be happy.
Were you happy before you meet him? What were you doing before you meet him? There are surely things we do without our boyfriend and still feel happy. Think about what you did before he comes into your life and do that! If we start a relationship and rely on that one relationship to make us happy, we will never be.
Consider this, if you are happy despite whatever situation or negative thoughts that may bring upon you, your boyfriend would feel less stressed up being with you and thus makes a relationship happier and more lively.
Tip 3 – Stop the guessing Game
Let’s just say, be direct! Honestly, how many questions marks do you want to put in your poor man’s head and make him lose tons of hair and find out he age faster than his age because of that balding head. So really, what’s the problem of being direct?
Man don’t like to guess (at least mine don’t). They prefer straight and direct question. But the ugly truth is even if you are direct, you don’t always get what you want. Not immediately at least.
Tip 4 – Don’t be the Girlfriend that ruins guys-night out.
Everyone need space, time out from each other. This is important. I’ve heard many times girls complains that their man aren’t spending enough time with them. But really what is enough in a man’s context might not be enough for you. So eventually, to a man, it will never be enough anyway, so why bother?
Allow your man to hang out with his guy friends and stop thinking he will cheat. Its good for a man to have male friends. Breaking up his friendship with the guys will emasculate him, then really he won’t be worth having.
Tip 5 – Communication
Did you realize we keep saying, he didn’t understand, he don’t listen. Consider this, did we understand, did we listen? It works both ways. But being woman, we want it our way. As for a man, they need time to digest every thoughts, every conversation as such they prefer to live it the way it is for a while. So they don’t usually complain even if you didn’t understand, they wouldn’t say anything even if you are not listening.
Tip 6 – Do not forget his virtue.
Stop focusing on his flaws. Who doesn’t has flaws? We all have, and you might even realize, men doesn’t point at your flaws as much as you point at theirs. Try directing your focus at your man’s virtue whenever negative thoughts arise. No one is perfect, love him for his imperfection.
There should be many more tip than just these. To conclude my findings, I realize woman these days are independent and strong, they have their ideal and thoughts and stick right through. They forget that they are not always right, they wanna lead but they have forgotten, they are not man after all.
I’m not saying man has nothing to learn on the way to handle their woman. They do have, tons if you asked me, unfortunately, woman handle instructions better than man. Man improve at their own pace and do not need to be taught. They will grow up when they want to. So stop being their mother but start being their girlfriend / wife.
Signing out~ xo